Stuck on an escalator - Snotr

Haha Fucking Brilliant

Read More...

Summary only...

Rick Mercer’s Talking To Americans (2001)

It’s no secret that Canada has produced a plethora of talented and hugely successful comedians, but most of them have landed in Hollywood, where they could capitalize on their skills. However, Rick Mercer is a thoroughly Canadian comedian, which means that his specialized brand of journalistic comedy is geared toward Canadians.

Not only that, but the Hollywood machine wouldn’t really get his caustic style and deadpan delivery. Which is precisely why Talking To Americans was one of the most talked about features in the rich history of Canadian comedy. After all, what is more quintessentially Canadian than laughing at Americans for their ignorance and gullibility?

Read More...

Summary only...

Dumb Blonde Odd Job

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door.



He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints?

The blonde says, "Sure anything."

"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man replies.

"I don't know, say $50 bucks."

"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.

His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks.

The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more."

"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!"
10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blone stands there and says, "All done."

With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch."

"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."

Read More...

Summary only...

Explain this to your boss!!!!!

Read More...

Summary only...

Facebook groups

Some of them you are just not meant to leave.....

Read More...

Summary only...

Funniest DUI

Can i scratch my nutz?

Read More...

Summary only...

Toughest puzzle in the world.

I wonder where i can buy one.....

Read More...

Summary only...

Naked Girl in Dick Cheney's glasses

enjoy.

WASHINGTON - Get real, people.
That is not a naked woman reflected in Vice President Dick Cheney's sunglasses. Although it kind of appears to be.
It you blow up the picture, you can see it is Cheney's hand gripping the handle of a fishing rod.
The picture was posted on the White House Web site as one in a series of photos of Cheney outdoors. It created a buzz on the Internet on Friday and some cable television shows.
Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24068644/

Read More...

Summary only...

Dealing with Women

The rules

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.

Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

* You make the bed…..+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…..0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1

* You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…..0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the nex t bathroom…. ; -2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
* In the snow …..+8
* But return with beer…..-5
* And no liners…..-25

* You check out a suspicious noise at night…..0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing…..0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something…..+5
* You pummel it with a six iron…..+10
* It’s her cat…..-40

AT THE PARTY

* You stay by her side the entire party…..0
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy…..-2
* Named Tiffany…..-4
* Tiffany is a dancer…..-10
* With breast implants…..-18

HER BIRTHDAY

* You remember her birthday…..0
* You buy a card and flowers…..0
* You take her out to dinner…..0
* You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…..+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar…..-2
* And it’s all-you-can-eat night…..-3
* It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and you r face is painted the colors of your favorite team ¦.-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

* Go with a pal…..0
* The pal is happily married…..+1
* The pal is single…..-7
* He drives a Ferrari…..-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)…..-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

* You take her to a movie…..+2
* You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
* You take her to a movie you hate…..+6
* You take her to a movie you like…..-2
* It’s called Death Cop III…..-3
* Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls…..-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

* You develop a noticeable pot belly…..-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it…..+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…..-30
* You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”…..-800

THE BIG QUESTION

* She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
* You hesitate in responding…..-10
* You reply, “Where?”…..-35
* You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”…..-100
* Any other response…..-20

COMMUNICATION

* When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression…..0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes…..+5
* You relate to her problem and share a similar experience…..+50
* Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “…well, what do you think I should do?”…..-100
* You have fallen asleep…..-200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

* You talk…..-100
* You don’t talk…..-150
* You spend time with her……-200
* You don’t spend time with her…..-500
* You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000

GAME OVER. YOU LOSE.

Source! http://caffeine-overload.com/2008/01/03/rules-for-dealing-with-women/

Read More...

Summary only...

Black Kid's Computer Desk

Somehow i think i got the wrong message....

Read More...

Summary only...

How to solve a Rubik's Cube

These two are Hilarious.. Best way to solve the Rubik's Cube.



The lesson here?

DON'T DRINK AND CUBE.

Read More...

Summary only...

Home-Made Nintendo DS

I've tried making this a few times.. i think i'm doing it wrong because i can't get my Mario to move? any suggestions?

Read More...

Summary only...

lalal Aliens

Funny... Annoying... Entertaining..

Read More...

Summary only...

The Danger of Reporting News

Hilarious video of news reports. DANGER.

Read More...

Summary only...

Female Comebacks

hahaha For all you ladies. Enjoy.. and remember them!! you might need a few


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Read More...

Summary only...

Cane-Toad What happened to baz

awesome animation

Read More...

Summary only...

Office Violence

This is why you shouldn't throw paperclips at co-workers.

Read More...

Summary only...

Popeye's mom

Picture of Popeye's mom!! :D

Read More...

Summary only...

Enlgish Anyone?

A hilarious Picture and Blog about a Child in Asia wearing clothing with english text on it. Everyone else oblivious.

This is soo funny. Something tells us that nobody speaks English here. Looks like Asian folks just think written English looks cool, and since most of ‘em can’t read it any more than you can read Japanese — well, you end up with some pretty funny t-shirts. The best part, the oblivious teacher and more little kids in the background.

Wonder how he got it though. If you observe, it is not an over sized shirt and is clearly made for a kid.

or… this kid is a crazy pimp

or.. a fan of Dead Kennedys. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Too_Drunk_to_Fuck

Original Post

Read More...

Summary only...

Bit of a Problem :P

It doesn't surprise me! i've seen dumb stuff like this on the job site!

"Hey man, how we getting the van out?"

Read More...

Summary only...